I walked up to her and held her hand in mine. Her breathing rose rapidly, as did mine. We stared at each other, for what seemed like an eternity. e...entually I said Collette, and embraced her. We looked in each others eyes, god my heart ewas racing. Collette moved in, a we started kissing. It was joyous. We were all over each other. I had never been kissed like this before. It was deep, intense, really really passionate.We gradually undressed each other. We got on the bed together, we. I could live with not being loved as long as I was needed, even if to be needed meant being a whore and a slut then here I am. Then the marriage made the dream a possibility and if it was possible then it could someday be a reality and that fucked everything up. Now nothing is simple anymore. Hope has reared its ugly head. The real pisser is that I understand in my head that the dream is only a fantasy because I cant be loved, because no one will love a whore and a slut. But my heart wants to. She nodded. “Besides, I don’t feel like cooking. Do you?”I laughed. “No!”“So, we’ll go over to the club. Listen, are you still feeling sore?” I told her I had a twinge of soreness down below (and behind me, though I didn’t tell her that!) She simply nodded in understanding. “It will pass. What I do is take a bunch of Advil and take a long, hot bath.”“With bubbles and all?”“Absolutely!” She pointed me down the hall towards my bedroom and the hall bath. “I’m going to take one. They are very. Many. How I wish I could make them come true." Dear Stubborn Secret Admirer, What's a girl got to do? You won't tell me where you are so I can't come drag you. I've tried subtle invitations. Please, don't make me be a bad girl and beg. It is unseemly for a woman to beg."I looked at that e-mail for the longest time. I was still certain that if she saw me first we'd never get past that. But maybe if we were lovers first... That's stupid, I thought. What are you going to do? Wear a bag over your.
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